Three guys from Milwaukee decided to go hunting for the first time in their life. Being new to the sport, they huddled together in the Northwoods of Wisconsin to go over their "if lost/rescue" plan. They agreed that if one of them got lost, he would shoot three times and the other two would rescue the errant hunter.

Well, Kaminski got lost, so he shoots three times and waits......and waits. An hour later, he repeats the the procedure, and he shoots three times and waits.....and waits.

He notices the darkness is beginning to set in. So, he shoots three more times and waits......and waits.

Frustrated, he mutters to himself,
"these guys better get here fast or I am going to run out of arrows"!!!!

He forgot his bottle rockets. Lol.

Pap

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Albert Einstein

Q Where do you learn about a spider?
A On his website

Drill sergeant is all up in this private's ass 24/7 the entire time the poor private was in Basic Training.

After graduation, the drill sergeant walked up to the private and said, "You made it. I suppose when I die you'll come piss on my grave."

The private looked the sergeant in the eye and said, "No sergeant, I promised myself that when I left the army, I'd never stand in another line again."

Lol!!!!

Pap

Definition of eternity:

Four blondes in four convertibles at a four-way stop sign intersection, one at each street, and you're behind one of them.

American Citizen
Mr Giovanni is appearing in a NYC courtroom ceremony to become a US Citizen. All of his Italian relatives are there to celebrate the event. Even his godfather is seated behind him. The judge wanted to test Mr Giovanni's, knowledge of America, so the Judge asked three questions:

1. "Who discovered America?" Mr Giovanni answered, "Christopher Colon'.
His aunt calls out, "you're gonna make a #1 citizen"!

2. "Who was the first President of the US"? He answered, "George Washington"
His uncle calls out, "keep a going Giovanni!'

3. "Who shot JFK?"

Dead silence for about a half a minute, the his godfather stands up, and nudges
him, and says, "you good boy, Giovanni, Dona you a tell."

A Colonel and a Major were walking down the avenue while discussing Sex. The Colonel stated it was 15 percent pleasure and 85 percent work. The Major disagreed and stated it was 85 percent pleasure and 15 percent work. They spied a private digging a ditch and decided to ash him. The private quickly responded 100 percent pleasure. The Colonel asked him why, the private replied.....if there was any work involved you would have me do it.