Lol, that's a good one!!

Pap

A young priest was transferred to a San Diego church and he was looking forward to the fishing opportunities nearby. After a couple of weeks, he took his fishing gear and some bait and went to one of the popular fishing piers. After an hour or so, he hooked a big fish. A few of the guys on the pier helped him land it. They told him it was a big silver son of a bitch. The young priest was a little stunned and told them he wasn't used to such language, but the crowd said, you don't understand Father, that the real name of the fish. Satisfied, the young priest took it back to the church and asked the head Sister to clean this silver son of a bitch. The Sister shuddered, but the priest said not to worry because that was the real name of the fish. After cleaning it, the priest found out that the Cardinal was coming to dinner that night, so he went to the cook and said, the Cardinal is coming to dinner and he wanted the cook to really fix a nice dinner out of this silver son of a bitch. Again, the cook was surprised with the language, but the priest told him not to worry, that it was the name of the fish.

So, the big night is put ogether and the Cardinal takes his first bite of the fish. He looks around and says that it is absolutely the best fish he has ever eaten.
The priest says, I caught the son of a bitch, the Sister says, yeah and I cleaned the son of a bitch, then the cook says, but I cooked the son of a bitch! The Cardinal was shocked, and pointed his finger at everyone and said, you know what? You Suckers are ok!!

Now that's funny !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

A farm boy came home one late afternoon to have supper. His mother said he couldn't have any supper until he did his chores, feeding the chickens, pigs and milk cow. So, he went and fed the chickens but kicked one of the hens, then fed the pigs and kicked the old sow. Last, he fed the milk cow and kicked her on the way out the barn.
He goes into the kitchen to eat and his mother said, no supper for you because I watched you kick the chickens, pig, and the cow.
About that time the father walked across the porch and kicked the cat on the way inside.
The kid said to his mother, shall I tell him or will you?

Pap

“Charley, a new retiree-greeter at WalMart, just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean-shaven, sharp-minded and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their "Older Person Friendly" policies.

One day the boss called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang-up job when you finally get here; but your being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear".

"Yes sir, I understand your concern and I will try harder".

Seeming puzzled, the manager went on to comment, "I know you're retired from the Armed Forces. What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning late so often?"

The old man looked down at the floor, then smiled. He chuckled quietly, then said with a grin, "They usually saluted and said, Good morning, Admiral, can I get your coffee, sir"?

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice," she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop- dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that have a strong sex drive.

The second floor has wives that have a strong sex drive, have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

:-)Rocky

Lol!!

Pap