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#194187 - 05/20/21 03:14 AM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: Windsor]
RUTROW Offline
Knife Enthusiast

Registered: 10/20/20
Posts: 233
Loc: TX
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#194422 - 06/08/21 06:44 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: RUTROW]
pappy19 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 7437
Loc: Garden Valley, Idaho
So you all know Oly and his wife Lena from NorDakota,right? Well they moved from Bismarck to Minot after 35 years. Lena had a dentist appointment with a new dentist. Oly dropped her off in the waiting room. While there she noticed the dentist's diploma and the name on it looked very familiar. Then it dawned on her that it could be the star football QB at Bismark High in 64 and she had a huge crush on him.

Once in the dentist chair, this old wrinkled, bald and beer belly guy walked in. It couldn't be the same guy, she thought. She got the courage to ask if he happened to go to Bismarck High, and he said yes, he graduated in 1964. Lena said, I was there too!! The dentist said, really? What did you teach?
Lol.


Oao
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Mike Allen
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#194423 - 06/08/21 07:55 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: pappy19]
coachblalock Offline
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Registered: 12/03/16
Posts: 1872
Loc: Lake Fork, East Texas
HAHAHA! I resemble that remark.
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"Filet that fish? Hell naw! I'll scale him, gut him, fry him up in grease, take him by the head and tail, and play him like a French Harp!" - Uncle Paul sometime in the 60s.

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#194428 - 06/08/21 10:48 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: coachblalock]
Windsor Offline
Knife Enthusiast

Registered: 08/12/15
Posts: 1955
Loc: Colorado!
A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing.

She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole." He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole."

Once again, he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.

She said, "See, I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"
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#194434 - 06/09/21 10:33 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: Windsor]
KENKAN Offline
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Registered: 04/23/11
Posts: 400
Loc: NWMS
I visited a monastery and as I walked past the kitchen I saw a man frying chips.
I asked him "are you the friar?"
He replied, "No, I'm the chip monk..."

Ken Lambert
RKCC CM-020 RKS #3610
NRA Benefactor
FOP
AGAC Life Member
Member TACA
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Ken Lambert
RKCC CM-020 RKS#3210
NRA Benefactor
Life Member AGCA
Member TACA
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#194439 - 06/10/21 10:50 AM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: KENKAN]
Duke Offline
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Registered: 08/21/09
Posts: 2004
Loc: Southwest Virginia
And while we’re already into religious settings one of my father’s favorites that I wish I could hear him tell again……….
“Just got home from Sunday preaching and was asked how the service was and responded “confusing & embarrassing.” When asked “why” was told that this purty, young, outta’ town visitor was sitting in front of me and when we was asked to stand and sing the first hymn I noticed that her dress had somehow gotten wedged up into her buttcrack. Well of course I like to help and kinda’ gentle-like pulled it out & she turned around and, insteada’ thanking, smacked the fire outta’ me.
Well, my face was stinging and burning and I was pondering on what happened so that I could barely focus on what the minister was saying. Sermon went by so fast that suddenly he was asking us to “all please stand to sing the invitation.” Well of course everyone did and this time her dress wasn’t stuck into her buttcrack. BUT, as I figured that she must like it better the other way and me always liking to help others, I stuck it back in for her and durned if she didn’t turn and smack the fire outta’ me again.


Edited by Duke (06/10/21 10:52 AM)
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#194440 - 06/10/21 01:06 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: Duke]
pappy19 Offline
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Registered: 10/31/07
Posts: 7437
Loc: Garden Valley, Idaho
Duke
That cracked me up!!

Pap
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Mike Allen
RKCC-CM-086
True West Magazine Maniac
Randall Collector
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Glock Fan
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mikenlu99@aol.com

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#194520 - 06/15/21 06:02 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: pappy19]
Windsor Offline
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Registered: 08/12/15
Posts: 1955
Loc: Colorado!
This one's for Wally.

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#194570 - 06/19/21 07:41 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: Windsor]
LarryWW1246 Online
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Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 1856
Went out to dinner tonight with a couple who are friends. We sat in a booth near the bar where a two guys were sitting together.

Two stools over from them a man was sitting alone, and trying to strike up a conversation with the two guys.

The loner concluded some comment with "...and I've been married 30 years!"

The stranger he was talking to said with a sympathetic tone, "I'm sorry!"

The loner sat back with a look of surprise, went back to drinking his beer, and was quiet after that.
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Larry W. Williams
RKCC #CM-041
ABKA #046
RKS #1246

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#194854 - 07/23/21 12:25 PM Re: Joke of the Day [Re: LarryWW1246]
Windsor Offline
Knife Enthusiast

Registered: 08/12/15
Posts: 1955
Loc: Colorado!
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